


I'm In Love With Judas

by andchaos



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Coda, Episode Related, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 22:48:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14903621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andchaos/pseuds/andchaos
Summary: In the time between getting rescued from the cruise ship and getting pulled into the insurance agency, Mac and Dennis have some fun in the hospital church. This is somewhat complicated by the presence of an actual priest on the other side of the confessional booth wall, but they're not just going to let something like that stop them.





	I'm In Love With Judas

**Author's Note:**

> title from [Judas by Lady Gaga](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wagn8Wrmzuc) because i mean, come on
> 
> official warning that i've never been to church and have no idea how confession works, but I wrote half of this while staying _in_ a church and i did what i could with google, so. no i'm not interested in how church actually works.
> 
> xo

Dennis takes the opportunity when he has it. He doesn’t expect he’ll have much time; he doesn’t expect Mac to stay out for long.

But they’ve just gotten off a sinking boat, and Mac’s just denounced God and come out of the closet. Maybe a hospital church isn’t the best place to do this, but Dennis doesn’t know how much time he’ll have after, so. He takes it while he has it – he takes Mac while he has him.

Mac is shaking already when Dennis pulls his mouth away from Mac’s, pushing him through the door to the confessional booth and sitting him down hard in the chair there. He closes it behind them, motions for Mac to be quiet, and sinks to his knees.

The window slides open as Dennis slides down Mac’s zipper. The sound of the wood covers the noise it makes, but Dennis still jumps.

“Is someone here?” Dennis mouths, jerking his thumb toward the wall.

Mac’s eyes are wide, and he looks alarmed. Dennis thinks for a second that they should call off this whole thing, but then he thinks – this just got so much better.

Mac moves his hand, maybe to push him away, but as soon as Dennis gets his mouth down close enough to brush his lips over Mac’s dick through his jeans and underwear, Mac quickly weaves his fingers through Dennis’s hair and grips tight.

Dennis looks up at him with wide eyes. Mac swallows; Dennis nods. Mac seems to realize he’s supposed to say something when the priest on the other side of the confessional clears his throat.

“Forgive me, Father,” Mac says on a slight gasp that maybe only Dennis can hear, as Dennis ghosts his fingers over the insides of Mac’s thighs; he sounds hesitant, but Dennis knows it isn’t because he’s already forgotten the words, “…for I have sinned…It’s been two days since my last confession.”

“Tell me your confession,” the priest says.

As soon as his voice starts up, Dennis pulls Mac’s cock out of the slit in his boxers and, grinning, licks his own hand with flat, rapid strokes, so that it doesn’t burn when he starts to jack him off, so slowly that it’s still quiet. Mac’s fingers find the edge of his chair and grip so hard they turn red.

“I — I’ve kissed another man,” says Mac. Dennis opens his mouth and licks the head of Mac’s cock; Mac is shaking. He adds on an exhale, “And I liked it.”

The priest hums. “And?”

“What?”

“What was the sin, son?”

“I —”

Mac suddenly bites down on his tongue. He’s hard enough that Dennis can really start to work him over. He opens his mouth and slides it down fully over Mac’s cock, and works on relaxing his throat when really he just wants to smile.

The priest misunderstands. “I think you’ve got it wrong. Love is never a sin – even between two men, it is always good and pure, and God will always approve.”

Mac’s cock is heavy and hot on his tongue. It’s thick, but long too; if Dennis didn’t have plenty of experience in college with this sort of thing, he might even be intimidated by the prospect of swallowing all of him down, but instead he’s oddly turned on by the challenge. He’s out of practice, sure, but God himself would have to come down from wherever he rests to smite Dennis personally before he gave up on getting Mac off.

So he starts to suck; at the same time, he presses his face down further into Mac’s lap, working the head of his cock further into his throat to the point it begins to get uncomfortable. Dennis knows how to work his gag reflex, though, and it doesn’t really bother him. This display of Mac, his thighs shaking, his fingers now white where they’re still wrapped around the edge of his chair, is the best view in the world.

“It isn’t?” Mac asks. “But the Bible says…”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, because Dennis starts to work his head up and down a little faster. Mac breaks off from that old tirade about God and morality and tries a different tack instead.

“What if I’ve engaged in premarital sex?” Mac says, the words punched out of him on a breath. “That’s still a sin, right Father? And a pretty big one, last time I checked.”

“Well…you should try to abstain, always, until you’re united under God in holy matrimony,” the priest says in a gentle tone. “But sinning, it’s not about when you fail. It’s about looking forward and trying to do better.”

Dennis bobs his head up and down as quietly as he can. He slides one hand up under Mac’s shirt until he finds his nipple. He runs his thumb over it, getting it to peak up, and then nicks a nail across the nub. Mac twists the fingers of one hand into Dennis’s hair and pulls; a hiss comes out from between his teeth at the same time.

“Is everything okay?” the priest asks.

“Just got a splinter from the chair,” Mac says quickly. “So what do I do about the sex thing? ‘Cause I’ve been having a lot of it, Father. A lot of sex with a lot of dudes.”

Dennis scrapes his teeth over Mac’s dick. He pinches the soft inside of his thigh at the same time, not enough to hurt since the denim of his jeans is still in the way, but enough to get the warning across clearly.

“A lot of sex, but with just the one dude,” Mac amends. “My um, my friend.”

“Is that what’s really troubling you, my son?” the priest asks. “Why don’t you tell me a little bit about you and your friend? With a better understanding of it, perhaps I can guide you better and figure out what it is that truly brought you here today.”

“Well, he’s – It’s my best friend,” Mac says.

Dennis takes his hand off Mac’s chest and puts it back on his thigh as he pulls off his cock just to lick a long stripe up the vein along the bottom of it, and then he wraps his lips around the head and sucks on it, unexpectedly hard. Mac audibly grits his teeth. Even just sucking Mac off is starting to get Dennis hard, and his hips jerk forward impulsively before he gets himself under control.

“We’ve known each other since we were in high school,” Mac rambles on. “He was, um, just some rich asshole I knew, and I used to…um, he used to come into where I worked.”

Dennis wants to roll his eyes at the blatant twist that Mac’s putting on the memory, but he’s busy tonguing at the underside of his shaft. Regardless, it’s a little bit off the mark to call their first meeting “somewhere Mac used to work” when what he really means is that Dennis dropped by the spot under the bleachers where he used to sell dope to the entire school, looking for a dime bag. He’s not exactly in a position to amend the story, though. Instead he slides his lips back over Mac’s cock fully and begins to work it with his mouth and throat again.

“Go on,” the priest prompts gently. Mac’s grip on his hair is getting painful, and Dennis fucking loves it.

“Well, I just came out,” Mac says. “We’ve kind of been dancing around this for a really long time, though.”

The priest makes a humming sound through the wood. In the ensuing silence, Dennis stops blowing him, unsure whether the sound of it will be too obvious without their talking to cover it up. He sits there, mouth full of Mac’s dick, saliva pooling in his throat, until the priest speaks again. Mac’s hand relaxes in his hair, only to spasm and tighten again each time Dennis’s deliberately relaxed jaw begins to ache and he has to suck softly to give it some relief.

Dennis should probably analyze this later, but even just sitting there, gently holding Mac’s cock in his mouth and not even really sucking on it, is getting him even harder in his jeans himself. He can feel his own cock pressing up against the denim, desperate to be touched, but Dennis only digs his fingers into the outside of Mac’s thighs and focuses on not being heard.

Finally, the priest decides to talk again, although only to say, “And how long have you been in love with him?”

Dennis makes a choking noise that can _definitely_ be heard from the other side of the booth’s wall. By some miracle, Mac doesn’t respond quite so audibly, so the priest could reasonably assume Mac was the one who made that noise.

“I don’t know about love,” Mac says uncomfortably after a moment. Dennis resumes the hot, tight slide of his mouth. “Look, we were just in this accident and we thought we were gonna die. So I grabbed his hand, and we looked at each other, and it’s kind of like we understood that we both wanted this. And yeah, I’d just come out. But then we got rescued and he – we – look, this is the first time we’re really doing this for real, you know what I mean?”

“I’m not sure I do,” the priest says delicately.

Mac breathes out a long, annoyed sigh through his nose. Dennis sucks harder, bobs his head faster, and the sigh quickly becomes a keen that Dennis hopes the priest takes as a whine of distress at this line of questioning. It’s not like he’s going to stop.

“We just,” Mac says, and his breathing is labored now and he takes a moment to collect himself before continuing. “…It’s not like we’ve never messed around before, okay? But we always knew not to talk about it, and that we weren’t doing it like, for real-for real.”

“Ah,” says the priest. “You’re concerned about doing this now that it’s much more meaningful. You are afraid, that although you’ve viewed the _act_ of same-sex relations as something sinful, that you could still repent. Emotional involvement with another man is more unforgiveable, as you see it.”

Mac says nothing. He’s frozen still in his seat, even the hand in Dennis’s hair relaxed and stagnant. Dennis has to pinch his thigh to get him to reanimate, taking his mouth off his cock again to bite down meaningfully on his other leg. He wraps a hand around his cock and starts to jerk him off in place of his mouth, and he feels Mac’s legs tense where they’re bracketing his shoulders, squeezing Dennis’s body between them.

“I guess,” Mac says at last.

Dennis starts to work his hand faster, his grip tightening to where he knows Mac likes it based on all the times they’ve seen each other jack off and the times they fooled around in the past.

Mac’s hand slips from his hair and slides down the side of his face. His thumb catches on the edge of Dennis’s mouth, and Dennis presses a kiss to his open palm. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the first drop of precome dribble out of the tip of his cock, and he quickly turns to lick it away. He wraps his lips back around his cock, enjoying the salty taste leaking down his tongue in earnest now, and starts to suck him off with the same speed and tightness in his mouth as he was using with his hand.

“My son,” the priest says, “love is never a sin. You can repent for your sexual acts done outside the binds of matrimony, but you cannot repent for love, because you don’t _need_ to repent for those feelings. Whatever romantic interest you have for your friend, _that_ is Godly. That is what He wants more than anything, for He is the bond between two people who care deeply for one another. He is in all things good and beautiful, and He wants us to appreciate those things and remember that it was He who gave them to us. By appreciating life and the blessings that come along with it, we are worshipping Him the way he intended us to worship Him.”

Dennis’s tongue is coated in precome now, and he swallows it down compulsively. Each time he does, Mac’s thighs shake and Dennis knows that the increased pressure on his cock is making him inch closer and closer to the edge, so he’s doing it as often as possible. He gives up on being patient with himself and undoes his own jeans with quick hands, pulling out his own cock and stripping it with fast, rapid strokes. He could, and usually does, like to make it last so that the end result is better, but he hasn’t been touched once yet and right now he really just wants to get off as quickly as possible instead.

Watching Mac shake apart from just his mouth is even better now that he knows he can have this, _really_ have this. No more empty beds and avoiding eye contact in the morning, tied together with unspoken promises to never speak of the night before out loud. Now Mac’s going to remember Dennis’s tongue licking rapid strokes over his frenulum, his lips wrapped around the head of his cock and sucking deeply, every time he goes to touch his dick. And he’s going to like it, he’s going to march across the apartment and knock on Dennis’s door and ask him out loud to do it again, and again, and again.

Mac hasn’t spoken in awhile now. The priest knocks on the wood separating their booths and says, “Son?”

“Jesus, _fuck_ ,” Mac says, and his thighs tighten and his ankles hook around Dennis’s back, and with a loud groan he comes hard. Dennis pulls off his dick almost entirely, enough that he’s still got it firmly on his tongue but he can also swallow the ropes of come seeping into his mouth. He keeps jacking himself off too, faster now, gripping himself just right so he can get off as fast as possible. A little of Mac’s come slips out and trickles down his chin, but he works on getting the rest of it down, splitting his attention equally between racing toward his own release and making sure that he swallows down as much of Mac as he possibly can.

Finally, Mac’s muscles unclench and he relaxes back into his seat. Dennis momentarily pauses in jerking off to sit back on his heels, grinning up at him even as he swipes the back of his hand across his chin to wipe away the jizz and saliva that’s definitely all over his face.

“What are you – Is there somebody else in there with you?” the priest asks.

They both ignore him. Mac gestures for Dennis to stand, and he does. Mac grips his hips and Dennis shuffles forward in the small space until he’s leaning over Mac, who wraps his own hand around Dennis’s cock and works it just as well as Dennis was himself. Even better, really, since someone else’s hands on him always feels better than when he does it himself. At the same time, Mac reaches up with his free hand to secure it around the back of Dennis’s neck, and he tugs him down into a sloppy kiss.

There’s a banging on the outside of their confessional booth, and they can hear the priest yelling, “Are you engaging in inappropriate relations? Here, while I’m speaking to you? That’s enough, the both of you – come out this instant!”

Dennis sits down hard in Mac’s lap, and Mac pulls him in closer to get back at his mouth. Mac stops jerking him off long enough to bring his hand up to Dennis’s face. Dennis holds him by the fingers as he leans in and runs his tongue over each one of them in turn, to get them wet enough to get back to business. Mac reaches down between them again to keep jerking him off, his strokes now made easier by the mix of spit and precome coating his hand. He immediately leans in and replaces his hand with his mouth on Dennis’s lips.

Dennis presses his tongue between Mac’s teeth to control the kiss while Mac’s attention is focused on getting Dennis off too. His free hand reaches around and squeezes Dennis’s ass, and Dennis groans into their kiss as his thighs shake, close to losing it at last.

Mac’s tongue follows Dennis’s back into his mouth as he pauses to breathe, taking control of their kiss. He licks the roof of his mouth, the length of his own tongue. Dennis wraps both arms around Mac’s neck, spreads his fingers through his hair, and comes hard.

It soaks into both of their shirts, and Dennis sucks on Mac’s tongue while his hips jerk and stutter again and again with his release.

Finally he sits back. Their mouths separate; he takes his hands out of Mac’s hair and slides them over his shoulders and onto his chest instead. He can feel Mac’s heart through his ruined shirt, still beating hard. They make eye contact, and after a moment, break out into grins.

It’s in that small moment of silence that Dennis finally notices that the priest is still banging on the confessional booth door, making a hell of a lot of noise considering neither of them had heard him, too wrapped up in their own activities. With a smile that bears absolutely no traces of remorse, Dennis leans in to give Mac a short, chaste kiss.

“Come on,” he says, already slipping out of his lap, “let’s go. I’m pretty sure our hospital stay is officially over.”

Mac just laughs. They tuck themselves back into their jeans and zip up, but there’s nothing to do about their come-covered shirts. Mac reaches out and takes Dennis’s hand, and with a deep breath, Dennis pushes open the confessional booth door.

The priest on the other side stumbles back. He’s bright red in the face and looks absolutely furious.

“I take it this is the friend you were talking about?” he says coldly to Mac.

For the first time, Mac looks kind of sheepish. He just shrugs.

“I’ll have you know I’ve called security on you both,” the priest says. “If you would stay here until we sort this out – Hey!”

With only a glance shared between them, Dennis starts running, pulling Mac with him with the hand still wrapped tightly in his own. They’re laughing as they shove their way out of the church and out into the hallway, picking a direction at random and running for it. They almost knock over quite a few hospital staff on the way, and Dennis fully trips over a (thankfully empty) gurney and flips onto his back on the other side.

Mac appears above him after a moment, grinning hard and offering out a hand.

“Come on,” Mac says. “Dee texted, she says we’re needed outside to go talk to the cops or something.”

Dennis grabs his hand and lets himself be pulled to his feet.

“Yeah,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “I’m fairly sure we’ve been unofficially discharged from this hospital, anyway.”

Mac laughs. Dennis slings an arm around his shoulder, and they start to wander away, looking for an exit.

They don’t know what will happen in a couple of hours. They don’t know that they’ll spill the whole story to some policeman and beg for forgiveness, only to find out that he’s an insurance agent after all. Dennis doesn’t know how Mac will go back in the closet, how this will become another thing they don’t talk about, how it will just become another encounter that Dennis will wake up days later remembering, wondering if it was all just a dream. He doesn’t know that the hurt of it will force him back into the closet, too.

But right now, he’s got a smile on his face. He’s got Mac’s hand in his own. For the first time in a long time, he’s got a light heart, and he’s forgotten his worries in the real world in the distant future. Right now, he’s got Mac. That’s the important thing, after all. That’s always been the only important thing.

**Author's Note:**

> hmu at [lesbianfreyja on tumblr](http://lesbianfreyja.tumblr.com/post/174795114355)
> 
> xo


End file.
